I am coming to the point in my life (also known as the college years) when I am so rapidly changing that I wake up constantly with as a different person in some form. I know the biological idea that you are always losing skin flakes or cells or whatever that you are technically a new person but i am talking about something deeper than that. The big difference of me now and 10 years ago is two things. First of all I am making the decisions on my own accord and I don't get easily persuaded by the media or peers. The second difference may be more of wishful thinking, but I feel like I am progressing into a more mature, better self for lack of better words.
The most recent realization has been music. I love music more than a majority of things in life and i could go on describing the power of it and impact on my life, which i intend to do at a later date. But my taste in music has changed so dramatically. And it may be that I am in the middle or my weird indie phase of music, but I like listening to random bands that are more sophisticated lyrically and musically than the all the 'artists' that we daily see paraded around on MTV. Lately I have been listening to the like of blitzen trapper, birdmonster, matt and kim, bombay bicycle club, dr. dog, heartless bastards, and more. But not too long ago it was limp bizkit and whatever the top 10 TRL videos were. I am not trying to put down those artists or people who enjoy them I am just thinking about the self-evolution I have encoutered with music. Not to say I dont enjoy the newer T.I. album or some stuff that blows up in the nation, but overall I have matured with my musical taste for I think the better.
The other big change I have noticed is my emotional reaction to most things. I feel more mature when reacting to things that might have upset me or angered me. I feel like I was so quick to blowing up that I couldnt help anyone with my actions including myself. Now I take things with a grain of salf for sure and realize that I can barely control things that happen around me, and if they don't work out then they don't and that shouldn't effect me as much as it used to. Now i am pretty mellow and the main times I get riled up is during sports because I am still working on toning down the competitive nature sometimes.
I guess that everyone is changing constantly but at the age of 21, it is a lot more rapid and apparent. I have seen a lot of friends come and go and a lot remain depending on how parallel our evolutions are. Some people close to me have changed on the same path as me and some have veered for a path that I do not want to travel. I have changed a lot in the last few years, but I feel like its for the better, but I have a lot more work to do. I didnt really know where this post was going until I started writing and I am sure it could use and edit, but maybe take a few seconds from the day and see if the path you are on and your cruise control didnt tak a wrong turn somewhere.
also i hit 100 views. at least half were mine but i am still taking the victory. WOOT!


